Most of what is aired these days is truly a train wreck on a massive scale. Between Birdalplasty and any number of the Real housewives of wherever, I can't decide which one I want to make my new science project. There is clearly a genius in the editing room making these people appear as if they have interesting lives. It's clear that people will watch anything.

So my new long term goal is this:

1. Earn enough money to cast a group of D list actors (the Fred Savages and Carrot Tops of Hollywood)
2. Convince the D-listers that they are about to get a chance to collaborate with Justin Bieber on a "huge unannounced project"
3. Send the D-listers to an undisclosed location using a map made of explosive wax paper that self destructs upon arriving
4. Give each of the participants a modified kevlar vest, one of which contains a check for one million dollars, a key, and a phone
5. Apply the vests to 10 of the said D-listers informing them that removal of the vest results in disqualification, and loss of a chance to meet Bieber
6. Drive them to a maximum security prison and inform the inmates that one of the vests has their ticket to freedom.
7. Close the gates without any formal instruction, yell out "you'll be here for one week, good luck!", and watch shenanigans ensue via an intricate camera system.

The show will be titled "The D-block". Morgan Freeman will narrate. Only one gets a chance to collaborate with Justin Bieber on his upcoming film, "life in the Bieb Lane".

It's gold.