Brenoch Adams Blogasm

2012-01-02T22:14:00.000-08:00

I never really knew just how many sets of Christmas lights i had until I took them down this weekend. When putting them up, I suppose I was so pumped about Christmas that I failed to recognize I had 12 different strands of lights. WTF? Snowflake lights, large bulb, LED, and a fleet of the small traditional yellow lights. From the dates of Nov. 30th - Jan 1st, I'm almost positive that our front yard sucked most of the California energy supply. As usual, they morphed into one gigantic knot by the time they were all down.

It's almost comforting to open up that big box labeled 'Christmas Stuff' every year and seeing that huge F**king knot staring back at me. It's like a badge of honor... a cherished routine... and a huge pain in the ass.

2011-12-23T11:20:00.001-08:00

This year got out of here in a damn hurry. Lots of good things, some not so good things, and some downright filthy things. Regardless, I'm feeling great going into next year. I have a huge change coming which will no doubt alter my life and sleeping patterns.

I'm also looking forward to the release of the title I've been working on for close to 4 years now. I didn't think I'd be involved in such a long haul this early in my career. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be involved in a project that has balls. It's a huge risk to try reinventing something when chances are, it cannot come even close to the original luster it once had. I'm not one for optimism until I see a final polished product, so I'll wait until then to determine if it is as much fun to play as it was to make.

2011-11-20T15:08:00.000-08:00

I'm never opposed to speaking your mind and standing up for what you believe in. Ultimately thats what makes this country tick. However, from the outside looking in, I'm thinking the Occupy movement is becoming a bit... unfavorable (PC version). Are there clear goals? Is it proving effective? Is the idea to live like surfs from medieval times, struggling to be heard from outside of the castle gates? Does "Occupy" refer to the use of public grounds as a toilet like a port-a-potty? I'm not certain.

I do know one thing, and that is I'm seeing more negative response to the "99%", than positive. In fact, as one of the deemed "99%", I'm a bit baffled at how the other 98 are handling this ongoing protest. If determination to make change is camping in public grounds, then the line at Best Buy on Black Friday or waiting outside a theatre for Twilight tickets must factor in.

Well... I'm off to go Occupy 2nd street in Downtown San Jose in protest of the closure of the Flying Pig pub. Mad hatters have not been the same since.

2011-10-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

I saw one of parenting's proudest moments yesterday while driving home. A ravenous, almost maniacal little boy was strapped to his mother by a leash. I suppose the only redeeming dignity the mother had was the knowledge that it was a Yoda inspired backpack used as the boys harness.

May the force of a young child tugging at your leash like a family pet be with you.

2011-10-17T21:27:00.000-07:00

I've been involved on TR since it's infancy back in 2008 when I began working on high level key art for Lara, environments, marketing images, and anything else they could use me for.

It's easy to assume that producing art for the same subject matter over 3+ years would become very old. Surprisingly, I've found that this title (and the gaming industry in general) is a continually evolving beast that keeps me guessing. Ultimately, that' what keeps me going. Aside from that, it is the tremendous talent pool that CD has to offer that makes most of my days a breeze. By breeze, I mean it's the usual glorious chaos of clusterfuckery that any gaming developer endures over the course of a title.

I'm convinced that anywhere I work, in any studio or on any project, I will see the same baffled looks of confusion and defeated walks of deflated shame. The age old tale of "working with the right people" has never been more apparent. Games are going to come and go, but the peeps I work with will likely be a part of my life until the bitter end when the coroner has to pry the brush out of my cold dead hands. Bitch better not be takin' my brush.

2011-06-09T00:08:00.000-07:00

My blog has cobwebs on it. Busy is always good.

I've got a ton of stuff published from my work on Tomb Raider including character art, environments, and mag covers. I'm super stoked about the team of developers I'm working with, they are some seriously talented badasses. It's been really cool to see reaction to the work we've done thus far on the title.

I'm not sure 6 years qualifies me as an old haggard vet, but I've definitely developed some opinions about what I like, and "not so much" like about the Gaming industry. The first one that comes to mind is something I love, which is seeing the artwork that didn't make it into a title. Nothing is cooler than seeing the ideas that didn't make the cut (for whatever reason). Showing how someone got to their final answer, to me, is 100% more inspiring and engaging than what usually ends up getting raped and pillaged around a marketing round table. Even though deadlines are usually tight and iteration can become truncated because of demand, the best shit is always the small sketch someone does to inspire a hundred new ideas.

What have I learned to "not so much" like?... panic. Nothing good ever came from panic and the people behind it's Harrison Ford finger of death. Frustration is understandable, but panic is like the smell from the interior of a 40 year old alcoholics 1973 Trans Am... not good.

But who am I kidding, I'm making games for a living. An non-stressful industry of cool headed people making dreams a reality. Gotta dig it.

2011-02-14T12:13:00.000-08:00

I have to give Gaga some credit. She comes out in an egg, apparently "incubating before her performance", then rocks prosthetics like they're available at Target.

Her agent is a genius; "Ok Ms. Gaga, lets go over this again... you are going to be hoisted on the red carpet encased in an egg, wear some fake shoulders, win an award, and come home."

If that isn't some pimp shit, I don't know what is. She can wear a tire and some scrap metal and for some reason... it's all good.

2011-01-15T10:02:00.000-08:00

My favorite industry words that make any douchebox look like a genius-

1. Synergize
2. Transmedia
3. Mindshare
4. Recontextualizablity
5. Exceptionalize
6. Mission-Critical
7. Future-proof
8. Parsablility
9. Ideation
10. Polymorphic

In the handbook titled "how to bullshit your way to the top by making up trend terms that impress suits", these words are like the constantly shifting commandments of Bullshitery... see, I can make up words too.

2011-01-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

Only a little over a week left to check out the Post-Impressionist goodness at the de Young. Get there (peeps of the Bay Area) or be left remembering "that time Van Gogh, Gauguin, Cézanne and others were right round the corner".

Accepted excuses are-

1. I'm not anywhere close to the Bay Area
2. "Isn't Van Gogh that guy who, like... cut off his ear for his girlfriend or something. And the other are too hard to say."
3. Too drunk (understandable)

... I haven't gone yet.

2010-12-18T10:22:00.000-08:00

Most of what is aired these days is truly a train wreck on a massive scale. Between Birdalplasty and any number of the Real housewives of wherever, I can't decide which one I want to make my new science project. There is clearly a genius in the editing room making these people appear as if they have interesting lives. It's clear that people will watch anything.

So my new long term goal is this:

1. Earn enough money to cast a group of D list actors (the Fred Savages and Carrot Tops of Hollywood)
2. Convince the D-listers that they are about to get a chance to collaborate with Justin Bieber on a "huge unannounced project"
3. Send the D-listers to an undisclosed location using a map made of explosive wax paper that self destructs upon arriving
4. Give each of the participants a modified kevlar vest, one of which contains a check for one million dollars, a key, and a phone
5. Apply the vests to 10 of the said D-listers informing them that removal of the vest results in disqualification, and loss of a chance to meet Bieber
6. Drive them to a maximum security prison and inform the inmates that one of the vests has their ticket to freedom.
7. Close the gates without any formal instruction, yell out "you'll be here for one week, good luck!", and watch shenanigans ensue via an intricate camera system.

The show will be titled "The D-block". Morgan Freeman will narrate. Only one gets a chance to collaborate with Justin Bieber on his upcoming film, "life in the Bieb Lane".

It's gold.

2010-12-08T08:46:00.000-08:00

Still one of my favorite images on the web. Birdy.

Most amazing hair ever? I like to think so... at least top ten.

2010-09-05T11:05:00.000-07:00

I never really appreciate a day off unless it does what it claims... it's OFF. Recently my days off have revolved more around being very ON. I cherish the moments that I totally shut down because I have found them harder to come by. My OFF ritual usually includes a set of clothes that a Sultan would be proud to call comfortable. It also involves a nice couch set-up fully stocked with items that require little to no movement to obtain. Finally, a laundry list of films that I have been wanting to see are stockpiled into the DVR/Blueray/Netflix and viewed until I physically stick to the couch cushion. As Martha would say... It's a good thing.

2010-07-08T22:46:00.000-07:00

Harryhausen ... This guy is the reason why my mother calls me unique. He's responsible for making my obsessive search for a real working "Bubo" an addiction. Damn metal owls, and their captivating ways.

2010-06-08T09:32:00.000-07:00

Usually I pity the suckers that buy Apples newest product (or maybe I'm jealous because I don't like my Zack Morris phone anymore) . However... having said that... the new Iphone (Gen 4) is a must have. When buying my first iphone, I never thought it would rule my life the way that it does. Nowadays I gladly invite Apple to dominate my well being. HD video at 30fps, a 5mb camera with flash, 32-64 MB, ridiculous screen resolution, and all cased in Kryptonite. Speaking of which - I've already ordered this one - The Supreme Rose

2010-06-05T16:56:00.000-07:00

Up here, in the northern part of the Peninsula, we don't get much substantial sun. It just so happens that today is amazing outside... and I find myself in my dudio (den studio fyi). I'm finding it hard to find excuses. Perhaps my skin will blind the eyes of innocent children, or maybe I have enough vitamin D. Regardless, I appreciate mother nature helping out once in a while. Good lookin' out, Ma.

2010-06-03T23:53:00.000-07:00

After work specials, nothing better. Here's a couple that I try to occupy my time with outside of studio shenanigans.

Like most people I know, I can appreciate the power of facebook. I understand its purpose, and I marvel at its swift takeover of the human race. These networking tools, like self-indulgent blogs named Blogasm, are all tools for people to express themselves to whomever feels like listening. So in a much more indirect way, these networking tools have become the ultimate therapy session for the masses. Reading about how people are "going to sleep after a long day of {insert wit here}", or are "going for a long run, then getting something to eat, then sleep before hitting the gym tomorrow" makes me feel like technology serves a higher purpose.

It makes us feel like we matter. It makes us feel like we have power to make others care about our every step. And in most cases I enjoy reading about my surrounding circle of trust and their most current headspace. These people are my friends, my associates, and my colleagues. And sometimes... these people are one of these - facebookers

2010-03-02T22:53:00.000-08:00

Am I out of my gourd, or does this "Chile earthquake causes earth to shift" sound like someone down at the station was hitting the sauce during science time? It seems almost Nicholas Cage-ish to think of such a scenario where an earthquake (one amongst a plethora that have been of large magnitude) is capable of throwing the Earths rotation off by even the smallest of margins. This is like claiming that when I break wind (fart joke excluded), that I am thrown off balance.

Maybe someone got bored and decided, "hey, you know what would make for good television and maybe make an awesome John Travolta comeback #3 movie.. an earthquake so powerful that it spins the earth backward, turns back time, and gives everyone 5 minutes of their life back. We'll call it "Timequake" , get Bay to shoot it, find Travolta a hip costar/love interest like Lady GaGa, make it 4D, and slap every supersized value meal with a picture of Travoltas face inside of a cracked clock face. It can't miss.

2010-01-24T22:13:00.000-08:00

Forgive me Walken, for I have sinned. It's been 29 years since I last considered confessing.

It's not always the case, but occasionally I make bizarre noises and talk to myself while working. Its usually childlike banter or half witted voices. I assume most artists, regardless of the medium, kinda do this in some form or another.

I've always got some form of music playing when I work. For me, soundtracks simply rule in this department. A little Marco Beltrami or Ennio Morricone gets me hot and bothered. Williams and Shore are great for the dramatic orchestral shift in moods. Most Ridley Scott epics will undoubtedly have some amazing scores.

Anyway, during this number I was listening to Tenacious D and doing my best to channel "The situation" from the Jersey Shore.
Is it true what they say... variety is the spice of life?

"Pow"

2010-01-19T00:41:00.000-08:00

Ya, the Golden globes are like the AAA of significant awards given to actors for outstanding performances. Regardless, I was pumped to see Dr. Bridges get up to the podium, and receive his award. He spoke with the same slurry majesty that provided "the Dude" with the ability to confidently write a check for milk in the amount of 69 cents. I don't think he needs awards to validate his credibility, but the guy is one of the truly under appreciated actors working today.

I'm not a betting man, but if I were, I'd gladly throw a hamilton or 2 at a bout between Bridges as "the dude" vs. Kurt Russell as "Jack Burton". I'd probably have to give it to Burton... after all, he just wants his truck back.

... and the answer to what you may have asked yourself is, yes.

2010-01-07T23:02:00.000-08:00

Speaking of bizarre side shows - Teatro Zinzanni off of the Embarcadero here in the city is quite the experience. Imagine if you will... Cirque du Soleil meets a brothel /Cabaret, and they have a sweet love child that beats up a mime having dinner at a hotel restaurant, but then makes up by paying for tickets to the Opera (not to be confused with Oprah... which is a whole other conspiracy theory I have. Another time).

It was intoxicating. But lets be real... a little person (PC version), trapeze, synth rock orchestra, and food = Tommy likey. Only a cameo appearance by Walken in a "wolf howling at the moon" shirt would oust it.

2009-10-26T22:56:00.000-07:00

"Sithing on the dock of a bay"

My dog is getting old. It's tough watching him loose his frisky goodness, and develop rickety bones. On the other hand, I have to look at it from a Tom Selleck perspective. Perhaps he is just doing his best to age gracefully and maintain a grasp of the mustache look for just one more year hoping it becomes en vogue. I've often though that a good mustache can make or break a man. For example, my buddy Lou can grow a mean stache', but alas he chooses to not do so. Is he waiting for the right time? IS there a good time for a stache'? Only time (or perhaps C. Norris) can dictate such a revival.

2009-10-26T22:48:00.000-07:00

Yup, Chrome horns. Rivet gun... why not.

Halloween coming up in 5 days! I'm a huge fan of holidays that are supported by a foundation of booze and candy. As a bonus, we are not only accepted but encouraged to dress as maniacal or ridiculous as we can possibly muster. It brings a tear to my eye.

2009-07-29T18:36:00.001-07:00

I've removed the previous posts for the moment. More to come!

2009-05-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes they are difficult, and other times they are quite simple. Inevitably, they shape who we are, and how others perceive us.

If you don't believe that the majesty of "Pirates of the Caribbean" at D-land Anaheim changed your life forever, I will punch you in the throat. It is as simple as that. Maybe that makes me a throat-punching Chuck Norris stunt double, but as mentioned, that's who I am and what I believe.

To this day, the creative genius that went into that brief 3 min + of fantasticness is matched by no other. Even the integration of the "uncanny" Depp doesn't hold it down. It wasn't enough to make an amazingly immersive experience, so they decided to put a fully functional restaurant at the end of the ride making people second guess the line between reality and animatronic when leaving the staging area. Dead men may tell no tales, but those who do speak highly of the creepy old man on the Bayou porch.

2009-05-23T14:30:00.000-07:00

In the humid jungle of Skullita, lives a man of no name. Feared by the locals and shrouded by Myth, he is known only as "the hunger". Cunning, with the strength of 4.3 men, he resides in the treetops hunting in both day, and under the cover of night. As an omnivore, it will eat just about anything, for it's hunger knows no bounds. However as a cannibal, his favorite meals are those of nearby villagers, especially the young children that wander off into his territory. Sometimes he must settle for a Darkirian panther.

2009-05-17T12:59:00.000-07:00

It is my belief, that there are those who like dogs and others who hate them with a vengeance. It seems to be a very binary love / hate relationship, rather than "well, I sorta like dogs". Myself? I love K9's, from the little shits that yap like rabid 3 year old children, to the gigantor horse sized war machines that think they are lap dogs.

I can understand some peoples apprehension about dogs. Many of them are raised poorly which results in the type of dog you see on the news eating peoples faces off. For the most part, this is a direct reflection of the owners understanding of how to raise a healthy pup. I must admit that it's not easy. I have an 7 year old Aussie Shepard/Black Lab mix who is a fantastic, well behaved, and attentive dog. He didn't come like that though. His stock demeanor was like any other puppy (or child for that manner), bat shit crazy and more than willing to make your life hell. I wouldn't say that I'm the role model dog owner, but I certainly try and understand how to be.

Unfortunately, there are people out there that treat dogs quite poorly. You can give .6 bowl of food to rescued animals daily by clicking HERE. It's free! hook up them up! They hook us up with years of loyalty, love, and funny youtube videos of them chasing things in their sleep.

2009-05-14T17:21:00.000-07:00

I'm getting hitched soon and have landed a pretty amazing little lady. Despite all her fantastical qualities, she has only one that I'm skeptical about.

There are 2 movies that I will watch in their entirety regardless of time of day, or what channel they are on. My fiance finds it hilarious that I watch them due to their lackluster quality. I can't say I blame her when she says, "you're watching Captain Ron AGAIN?!?!" or "Dances with Wolves!?!... Really?"

To her credit (and my defense), these are both awful films. However, she should appreciate the fact that I am contributing to the syndication benefits Kurt Russell, and the guy from Waterworld receive. Regardless, sometimes in life you're dealt apples when you really want oranges... and sometimes you're dealt Captain Ron, when you really want Dances with Wolves. Somehow I think she'll find it in her heart to grant my amnesty, after all I have to put up with the entertainment magic that is "The Bachelor".

2009-01-21T12:27:00.000-08:00

One of my coworkers was trying to explain his new WOW upgrades to me the other day. It had something to do with experiential points, and some other type of weapons upgrade system. He spoke of this upgrade as if he just had his first born child.

I am thrilled to hell that I have not made the fatal mistake of living in the WOW universe. The fact that I call it "WOW" saddens me enough. One day, I fear I will not be strong enough to resist the powerful draw of the WOW lifestyle, and the glorious fruits of destruction, conquest, and comradery it will bestow upon me. Damn you WOW, and your seductive over saturated palettes and fantastical regions fit for hours, upon hours, upon hours, upon hours, upon hours of mindless exploration.

2009-01-16T15:54:00.001-08:00

Tough times out there. Many of my peers have been excused from their place of employment, and are out looking for new gig's. I know some people are under the assumption that the gaming industry is recession proof, but I'm beginning to see otherwise. Good luck to those who ARE looking for work, I'm sure things will work out (they usually do). And for those who STILL have jobs... I'd brace for more bad things to come. It sure seems like things can only get worse.

2008-12-06T00:42:00.000-08:00

I finally got a chance to see Wall-e this weekend. I was really impressed by the mood they set in the earlier scenes. I'm not sure how I feel about the integration of a human cast. I was thrown off a bit, and it kinda took me out of the film for a moment. I started thinking about how much it would blow my mind if there was a planet where stylized people roamed around. By the time I gave up on the idea, the scene was over, and I had to rewind the film. Nevertheless, I was pumped to see a little box with binoculars have such a rich and likable personality.

2008-11-11T14:17:00.000-08:00

I did a quick process type thing here. I call this one, "The love child of Clint Howard and Kratos".

2008-11-11T11:40:00.000-08:00

So if you haven't been the Gnomon workshops in L.A., you are missing out. Great lectures and fantastic information from some of the top artists in the entertainment industry.

I found a video on the Gnomon site, where my buddy Dela is waiting outside the sound stage. He is looking down at the ground in an almost meditative state. Well, either meditative, or hungover and pissed off.

Click on the play button, and look at around the 0:16 mark for a dude in a black beanie, glasses, and black track jacket. Curt, you're in there too at the 1:26 mark kicking it With Charlie Weezie. At the Very start, a spitting image if Steve Hui's back is also present. It looks like he is attempting to mimic the famous 1969 Bigfoot footage. Amazing. Dela's 4 sec of fame.

2008-09-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

Observe the lethargic, yet majestic, Horned Brape. Named after a man of similar qualities, the Brape resides in humid regions of the Gianbad Islands. His distant cousins, a male and female Slink, are grooming themselves in a Pharma tree. Migrating birds, known as Da-man by the locals, utilize the Brapes vegetated back as a source of refuge.

Brape sightings are rare in modern times due to it's tendency to hibernate a little over 11 months out of the year. They can live up to 350 years, and weigh up to 1200 lbs at the beginning of hibernation.

2008-08-07T11:00:00.000-07:00

The Olympics are beginning this evening and for once I'm moderatly pumped. I use the word moderatley because I would still opt for a Giants game any day. However, the events are going to be televised in prime time which I suppose is better than waiting until the next morning to get results.

I want a new Olympic event next time around. I think an event that combined all the diciplines would truly test the athletes. And because it's the only event, it's very important to place well after those brutal years of training. With a name like Aquarchadsketennishootriathalifting, who wouldn't watch?

2008-08-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

I've recently been watching the Venture Bros. at length. Brock Samson is officially my new hero. Take Kronk from The Emperors New Groove, give him a machete, and a short fuse and you have Brock Samson. Epicness.

Samson Time

2008-07-18T14:55:00.000-07:00

When I was young my mom told me I use to sit infront of the tube and watch Star Wars for hours. I would replay it over and over, reciting the words to myself.

A devoted fan, or a silent cry for help? Either way, A new hope is still in my top 3.

2008-06-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

Amerimask

I had a "deep clean" the other day at my dentist's request. It's a simple process where the crud and funk from under the gum line is removed while the entire mouth in numb. After the numbness went away, my jaw felt like a bear trap, my gums were sore, and my teeth resembled Gary Busey from "Under Siege".

Note to self... deep cleaning's turn people into this dude.

2008-06-25T21:33:00.000-07:00

Amerionette

2008-06-10T23:20:00.000-07:00

Gas is $4.89 at a station right by my place. Unbelievable.

2008-05-29T15:04:00.000-07:00

I checked out the new Narnia the other day, and to my dismay it fell short of the hype. Not to say that it was being praised as an above average film, but based on the previous one it was lacking in many areas for me. The Disney cheese factor was through the roof, the acting reflected a community college class, and once again the overwhelming amount of beautiful CG could not save it's poor story structure (Kinda like another big budget film I recently saw).

And is it just me, or are Susan's lips extrodinarily huge. Pretty PWNED WTFBBQ.

2008-05-24T16:27:00.000-07:00

2008-05-09T10:02:00.000-07:00

There are a crazy number of musicians at my new place of work, and I guess they motivated me to stay up too late mixing random bits of music. I've been messing around with Mac's Garageband Application, which I must say is not at rewarding as creating everthing from scratch. They are just for s and g's, but fun nonetheless. I'm going to be posting them here: http://virb.com/docnoch

2008-04-27T00:58:00.000-07:00

2008-04-23T16:23:00.000-07:00

Magicians have to be the most hilarious physical actors out there. Their gestures and mannerisms are amazing. After every move there is a dramatic pose to demonstrate just how hard the action was. For example : Coppafeel

2008-04-15T23:15:00.000-07:00

Orphan Works Information

2008-04-06T16:12:00.000-07:00

2008-04-03T22:39:00.000-07:00

Not sure if people are aware of this, but you can actually sell your soul online the cyber way. Apparently the evil do-er has expanded his recruiting, making it just a click away.

I thought at great length about the idea. Not for consideration, but to weigh out the repercussions of doing something like that. I came to the conclusion that even though I'm not religious in any way, and even though I don't truly believe in an afterlife, and even though I don't think there's a dude dressed in red with minotaur features and horn's aplenty on his dome wielding a pitchfork in a fiery abyss, there's no way "in hell" I'm signing on the dotted line. In fact, Cyber Devil worshiping seems even scarier than regular old "sacrifice in the attic" style.

It's a funny read, and certainly not my cup of tea, but if you dare............ want to sell your soul?

2008-04-03T22:34:00.000-07:00

I was looking at some nice rock ref today. They were huge, and just barley holing onto their base. Dig 'em.

This guys does it too, but on a smaller scale:

http://billdan.blogspot.com/

2008-03-30T22:56:00.000-07:00

I had a dream the other night that was pretty awesome.

A desperate person, who was clearly at the end of their rope, with nothing to lose, infected, faceless, and angry, was chasing me through an endless wasteland. The person was moving in an awkward manner, climbing along walls of twisted metal, and at one point galloping like a quadruped, but inverted like a spider. It was an older man, emaciated, and wearing boots with a bunch of thrashed cloth wrapped around his waist. Despite his age, he could move quickly, almost like a parkour ( Parkour ). I never saw the mans face, but he had a familiar voice. He carried a shard of metal, and kept repeating, "where is my ticket".

I don't dare try and figure out what this all means, (most likely that I'm a lunatic) but needless to say it was creepier than all hell. Good times.

2008-03-28T12:07:00.000-07:00

"Painting is easy, the design is far more difficult" wisely spoken by Curtelle. My paintings are still chalky as all hell. Talk about a slap to the nuts.

I try not to look too deeply into things like this, and despite it's issues, it was a nice way to brain fart for a while.

2008-03-22T16:39:00.000-07:00

"Western folk don't got no manner's"

Inspired by C. Norris roundhouse kicks

www.chucknorrisfacts.com

My favorite being:

"When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris."

Random story: I knew a guy in high school who looked just like Chuck Norris. He had a huge jaw, with the same peach fuzz red beard that reflected the sun's fury. One night, at the tender age of 15, he decided to go to the local grocery store, named "John's" at the time, and attempt to steal the most holy of all beverages of it's era... Zima.

He didn't do much of a job concealing the booze, as it fell to the ground during the escape. John, the owner of "John's", was less than thrilled as the bottle broke and soaked the poor boy's pants with the sweet nectar of immaturity. He called his parents, who told my parents, who told me, and now I pass it onto you the reader.

Day's later, at school, we dubbed him "Z". From that time on, any word containing the letter "S" in it was converted to a "Z".

For example:

"this beer tastes skunky!"

"thiz beer taztez zkunky!"

Thus granting him the name Juztin Zimmons.

If you say it slow, you will sound drunk.

2008-03-22T16:35:00.000-07:00

At the time I did this, I felt like I had been working on the same subject matter forever. Character design is definatley not my strength, however I really enjoy experimenting and exploring it.

When I was a kid my dad had a drawer in the garage full of masks. Some were to filter out saw dust, etc. , and I loved to put them on with a hoodie over my head, and mimic darth vader. (but with a much higer pitched voice).

2008-03-22T16:25:00.000-07:00

This is a painting from a drawing I did while watching a terrible episode of Wife swap. If you're not familiar with Wife swap, consider yourself lucky. Basically the theory behind the show is "find two of the most obnoxious familiy's in America, offer their devil wive/mom the opportunity to experience the wrath of the opposing family, act as clinically insane as possible, and in the end behave like you stumbled upon the meaning of life."

It's a great feeling when you're drawing or painting and you really have no idea what's going on, around you until you look up and realize you've been watching Wife Swap for the past half hour. Brutal.